Dear God, please help me when I am 94

Mom, you are 94 years old.  You don’t move so well, you don’t hear so well, you are tired.  Please tell me what I can do, please let me help you as you helped me all those years ago when I was a little girl.  You held my hand, now let me hold yours.  I will you know, I will hold your hand with pride and love.  Please don’t push me away, is all I ask.  Take my hand and walk with me, in the name of love.  

On this day, my emotions are fragile!

I don’t know about you, but I am finding a wave of emotions, somewhat like a thick fog, immersing my life.  I am waiting for it to lift and the clarity that my heart so craves to settle once again. It not only seems to be affecting me, but everyone around me as well seems to be showing discomfort and are dis-ease.  It makes me sad, which is an easy feat to accomplish and one that I work hard to overcome.  So please universe, make that move that shifts the world to a sunnier, happier place. 

 

Today..where is that?

Today..where is that? ..and how much does it cost?

This is Black Friday…why do we fall in step with the Americans? Is the mighty dollar so entwined into our lives that we put it before everything else? Anything for a buck…how can I teach values to my children when this flies into our home? Or is it a case of ..how not to live your life perspective.

How did I get here?

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One might say, those teens are like misfit aliens that don’t understand a word you say. And that they wish you would stop telling them what to do. Blah, blah, blah. WELL…as a mom I have to believe it is my job to pursue these aliens in the name of the greater good….to ensure that mankind is taken care of and that these young aliens are safe walking amongst us! Am I right..or am I right?

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Oh dear…

So the teenagers don’t listen…really. I get to live this life in the moment..oh joy!

Then it all turns around..like there never was a problem. So tell me, young people out there, do you understand the topsy-turvy world that gets played out..like a school drama…turns your loved ones world into a constant guessing game?

Another day, another song…

A little piece of serenity or is that senility?

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Remember where you have gone…it will help lead you to where you need to go….

If I develop short term memory loss, will I know the frustrations that those closest to me feel? Will I be aware of my own state of mind…or will I just think that “they have a problem”?

My mom is 91 years old. She has chosen a unique way of storing information into her brain. I can’t even call it short term memory loss, but instead, she rewrites events to her liking and lives on accordingly…..leaving her loved ones dangling with mouths hanging open.

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Today..where is that?

Today…I feel like I have not done anything my whole life.

I am almost 50 yrs old. Is this a turning point? For what? I love…I am grateful…I miss those who are no longer here.

When it comes to feelings..well I have an abundance of them.

Emotions come and go like the seasons. When they are upon me like the snow is upon winter it seems like they are here forever. In the wee hours of the morning, sleep evades me and the world is quiet, except for the sound of the clock ticking. Ticking signals the duration of time that I am not asleep, knowing the world will come alive once again in a few short hours.

So the day was incredibly slow..tick tock ..kind of like living in a bubble..sleep, hopefully will fulfill the need inside tonite!

Sleep fell like a warm blanket of snow…thank you God! Today I feel fresh and full of much needed energy. Bring on the day, bring on the challenges…thanks for the coffee…mmmm

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